Don't Be A Twit » Simple English

English as she is spoke

Dave — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:06:18 +0000

A major part of the problem with writing the English language is that our spelling isn’t necessarily phonetic – the way a word is pronounced isn’t always the way it’s written.

This is particularly a problem with words containing an R, at least for those English speakers who speak a version where the letter R isn’t pronounced in every instance (for example, at the end of words like “butter”) or after long vowels (words like “farm”). Many of the accents within England itself are like this; it tends not to be a problem for the Scots and Irish, or for most North Americans.

It’s not uncommon for these people to misspell words by omitting the R (and perhaps the vowel in front of it too), or by inserting one where there shouldn’t be one. Here are a couple of examples of the more common misspellings:

Mint-condition penny blacks are much sought after [not "sort after"]
He keeps his socks in the bottom drawer [not "draw"]
The collection was formerly housed in the British Museum [in other words, it used to be; if you used "formally" instead, it would mean something very similar to "officially"]

If in doubt, the best thing to do is check in a dictionary, whether it’s a book or an online one.

Don’t flaunt your ignorance

Dave — Fri, 25 May 2007 09:45:07 +0000

Here’s another pair of words where one is regularly confused for the other: flaunt and flout. Both are spelt similarly, and both imply a lack of concern for others’ feelings, but that’s where the similarity ends.

Flaunt means to show off something or to make a big show of taking pride in it. So you can flaunt your wealth (wear flashy clothes, spend money on expensive things that you then quickly discard) or flaunt your ignorance (make your lack of knowledge a point of pride, keep referring to “school of hard knocks” and “university of life”).

Flout means to deliberately disregard a rule, law or convention. So if you flout social norms, you make a conscious choice to do things that go against them.

Above all, never talk about “flaunting the rules” – it’s nonsense.

Two too many to cope with?

Dave — Tue, 22 May 2007 12:46:05 +0000

A quick guide on the differences between two, too and to:

Let’s get the easy one out of the way first: two is 2 – the whole number between one and three.
Too has two meanings: “as well” and “excessively”:
- If you’re going shopping, can I come too? (Can I come as well?)
- No, you can’t; it’ll be too crowded in the car. (The car will be overcrowded.)
To is also used in two different ways:
- One is in the general sense of “in the direction of”: for instance, “We’re going to the shops.”
- The other is a little more difficult to explain; it’s used to introduce the basic form of a verb (like go, eat, say) that doesn’t itself have a subject. (The subject of a verb is the person or thing that’s doing the activity – like I go, you eat, Jackie Wilson says.) For instance:
  - I have to go now.
  - This used to be my favourite song.
  - He doesn’t intend to pay.

As you like?

Dave — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 05:35:15 +0000

It’s widespread, but sloppy usage, to use the word “like” (as in “same as”) with a verbal phrase rather than a noun, like this:

It’s like no-one cares about global warming.

In cases like this, the proper usage is:

It’s as if no-one cares about global warming.

Save “like” for cases where you’re comparing one item to another:

He’s just like his father.

The vicar leapt to his feet like a scalded cat.

but:

The vicar leapt to his feet as if he had been scalded. (NOT “like he had been scalded”)

-ice and -ise

Dave — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 13:19:07 +0000

How do you tell which word to use when there are two forms of the same word: one ending in -ice, the other in -ise?

The rule’s very straightforward:

Use -ice for nouns (football practice, legal advice, driving licence)

Use -ise for verbs (I practise the piano, she advised me not to buy it, 007 is licensed to kill)

Can’t think of any other pairs like this offhand; if anyone else can, please comment!

Lay, lady, lay (cluck, squawk)

Dave — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 07:42:35 +0000

Lie (tell porkies): I always lie, the politician always lies, he always lied, she always lied

Lie (like Bob Dylan’s lady): I lie on my big brass bed, the lady lies on my big brass bed, he lay on my bed, she has lain on my bed

Lay (put something on something else): I lay an egg, she lays an egg, she laid an egg, she has laid an egg

So Bob Dylan’s song should really have been Lie, Lady, Lie. (“Lay, lady, lay…” conjures up some really rather disturbing images.)

Lack of interest

Dave — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 10:22:28 +0000

A mistake that’s becoming increasingly common is the use of the word disinterested to describe someone who’s bored or has no enthusiasm for something.

“Disinterested” means “impartial”; in other words, without an interest in the sense of a financial, political or other personal stake.

The word these people are groping for is uninterested.

Foggy spells

Dave — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 10:07:13 +0000

Here are ten commonly-used words and phrases which seem to get spelt wrongly more often than they should be:

business
definitely
eligible
excellent
know
a lot of…
probably
sponsor
surprise
temporary

Suspended sentence

Dave — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 10:26:35 +0000

it can be very tricky to read stuff where theres no punctuation you often find that youre struggling to work out exactly where a sentence ends the next thing you read may be on a very closely related subject but it may not just the odd capital letter and full stop can make all the difference

Even if you’re not confident with punctuation, the rule about how to punctuate sentences is very simple. Begin every sentence with a capital letter and finish every sentence with a full stop.

It doesn’t take long. It’s a courtesy to your reader. And it may mean the difference between someone understanding and replying to your post or email, and someone giving up and going away because they can’t be bothered trying to work out what you meant.

Greengrocers apostrophe’s

Dave — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 13:44:53 +0000

We’ve all seen the signs on greengrocers’ displays. You know: the ones giving the price of “potato’s”, “cabbage’s” or “pea’s”, for instance.

Plurals never end in ‘s (apostrophe-s). That also applies to decades (the 1990s) and to abbreviations (RSJs).

I’m not sure how the practice arose in the first place, unless it was to mask uncertainty over how to spell some of the more tricky plurals like potatoes.

If you’re not sure about how to spell a plural, look it up in an dictionary. You can find the OED online here:
AskOxford

(By the way, did you spot both the deliberate mistakes in the title?)